“The [Café] Central is a place for people who have to kill time, so as not to be killed by it. . . .” --Alfred Polgar “I AM SIGMUND SPIELBERG!!!” The obviously unemployable flaneur with umlaut eyes landed at my marble-topped table without a proper invite, brusquely pushing aside a Thonet wooden chair. Brandishing a copy of Der Spiegel on a wooden rolling pin in his left hand, and reeking from an unfortunate cologne resembling turning … [Read more...]
About John Edwards
John M. Edwards is an award-winning photojournalist who has visited more countries than he has written about. He has written for CNN Traveler, Missouri Review, Endless Vacation, Entertainment Weekly, International Living, Adventure Journey, Xtreme Travel Stories, Salon.com, Grand Tour, Islands, Coffee Journal, Mabuhay, Danse Macabre, Verge, Glimpse, Hack Writers, BootsnAll, The Expeditioner, ForeWord, Borderlines, Go Nomad, North Dakota Quarterly, Michigan Quarterly Review, and North American Review. He recently won 4 NATJA Awars (a record for one person in one year) He is now editor-in-chief of the upcoming annual Rotten Vacations. He turned down a job as lead bassist for STP (The Stone Temple Pilots) way back when before they were big. Plus, he helped write "PLUSH," voted The Best Song of the 20th Century by Rolling Stone Magazine.
Halloween Hell
“If you don’t give me your candy, I’m going to bloody your nose!” menaced the big kid who had chased me down and tackled me onto a driveway. “Here, take it, I don’t want it, I don’t want it,” I whimpered miserably, adrenaline on overtime, phlegm and tears dripping like candlewax down my Pumpkinhead face. I quickly handed over my pillowcase jampacked with Hershey’s, Sweet Tarts, Razzles, Doublemint Gum, Milk Duds, Candy Corns, icky … [Read more...]
Kutna Hora and the Chapel of Bones
John M. Edwards mispronounces the naughty-sounding destination “Kutna Hora” at a train station in Prague, a surreal stage set straight out of the Quentin Tarantino/Eli Roth shocker “HOSTEL,” set in Slovakia but filmed in the Czech Republic. . . . At Hlavni Nadrazi, Prague’s main train station, the large ugly lady in Aeroflot chic flinched when I ordered a roundtrip to the naughty-sounding “Kutna Hora,” mispronouncing my destination on purpose. … [Read more...]
Investigating Legendary Party Thrower Jim Haynes
It was through my fellow American expat friend, “The Famous Zack,” a black Christian science-fiction writer originally from Ohio, with a short story coming up back then in the now-defunct “AMAZING STORIES,” that I first heard about the wild parties thrown by the legendary Jim Haynes, whom some sour-grape artists deemed an apocryphal “traitor.” So well known was Haynes as a manic socialite host that he even felt propelled to write a … [Read more...]
Dispatch: Austin Cafe Limits – Cooling out at Quacks
An American Poet, Instead of Texas T, Fuels up on Texas C (Oily high octane Joe), and in Austin's most famous Coffee Stop... In Austin, Texas, while vaguely visiting UT (The University of Texas) in The Lone Star State’s lively livable capital, I decided to pursue the art of doing absolutely nothing at all. My college chum from years back at Tulane University in New Orleans, Louisiana, USA, Jen Harmon, an art photographer and Aikido expert, … [Read more...]
The Best Artist in Slovakia
John M. Edwards pulls up his proverbial time machine into communist Slovakia (1989), where appearances are illusory and life is lived on a virtual movie set. . . . “I AM THE BEST ARTIST IN SLOVAKIA!” The Best Artist in Slovakia bruited. With a cavalier wave of his hand, curved like a grinning alligator shadow puppet, he added in slow mo, “I paint you a picture you would not believe!” “Oh, really?” I said with a terse forced smile. “I really … [Read more...]
Cesky Krumlov: The Real Bohemia
John M. Edwards checks out the new Czech Republic’s “Cesky Krumlov,” where real “Bohemians” come from. . . . On my first visit to communist Czechoslovakia in 1989 (right before the Velvet Revolution), I drove down in my rented and probably bugged Skoda car to the legendary Bohemian locus of magnetic Cesky Krumlov, the most stylish picturesque village in the country. I realized to be truly “Bohemian,” you had to actually be from the … [Read more...]
The South Pacific Cargo Cult of “John Frum”
Dispatch: Coconuts and Campbell's: John M. Edwards traces the origins of the wackily hybrid South Pacific cargo cult of “John Fromm” (or “John Frum”) from the world’s most useful conversation starter. . . . “Where are you from?” “United States.” “What is your name?” “John.” “Hey, I am John, too!” Although the polite fisherman was dressed like a native, in imported out-of-date garb straight out of “That Seventies Show,” I … [Read more...]
Viking Voluntourism: Tall Tales of Tallinn
Into the Wild Wild East of “Europe Minor” John M. Edwards becomes a “stringer” and steeps himself in suspense-novel intrigue in the Estonian capital, where a post-communist parable of “The Baltic Dream” seems pegged less to illusory pyrite and more to ubiquitous amber... Of course in Estonia everyone is a spy! Ah yes, so true, and that includes the suspicious-looking mustached man over there, with the Coke-bottle specs and tan Burberry … [Read more...]
An Interview with Bruce Northam
John M. Edwards Liquors Up and Loosens the Tongue of Adventure Journalist Bruce Northam, the Guru of Globetrotter Dogma Award-winning travel journalist Bruce Northam has wandered freestyle in over 100 countries on seven continents, with experiences ranging from drifting with Burma’s sea gypsies, playing naked Frisbee with New Guinea natives, and beholding the beguiling shores of Antarctica. With three books under his equatorial belt and a … [Read more...]
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